Summary of Nobody's Fault:

*blood splattered everywhere*

me:

omg this is some scurry shit

*in meeting room*

cofield:

do you have any questions before we get started?

house:

yeah.. who the hell are you?

cofield:

well i was in casino royale and most recently the ides of march

*OPENING CREDITS*

foreman:

please, you have to help me to solve this thing

house:

*heavenly music* I AM GOD

*back in meeting room*

cofield:

did you just take vicodin?

house:

lol you must be new

*ddx'in in the house tonight*

park:

thanks for slapping me with the file

house:

chase, a doctor who actually takes the time to read the lab reports--

chase:

aw thx bbz

chase:

oh no wait i take that back considering you've dyed my hair ginger

*patient room*

schoolchild:

simon harris filmed the whole explosion on his phone--

patient:

little shit

schoolchild:

it got like over 75 thousand hits already

patient:

wow tumblr famous does he have a faq too?

*back in meeting room*

cofield:

he had on a what?

park:

gas mask

cofield:

park:

me:

sweet jesus your eyes are gorgeous in that mask, i'll have to gif that later

*foreman and cofield standing by a rainy window*

cofield:

you chose me because you thought i'd have your back

foreman:

yeah bro

cofield:

~eric~ don't be silly gurl

foreman:

fml

*patient room*

chase:

why can i never seem to put gloves on in the allocated time

patient:

YEAH I CAN MAKE AN EARTHQUAKE UP IN HERE

chase:

*fighting*

patient:

*fighting*

chase:

*fighting*

patient:

*fighting*

me:

erm yeah can no one hear the crashes and bangs and stuff no?

*TAUB SAVES DAY*

adams:

oh my god

chase:

yeah my shirt really matches my tie today i'm rather proud

adams:

taub:

chase:

ohhhhh right yeah you're reacting to the scalpel lodged in my heart

me:

shit

my dog:

shit

*slow mo of scalpel and chase falling to the ground*

*operating room*

me:

oh god that person got to practically hug hugh when they put the surgical bib on him

house:

not chase, the patient

adams:

you're ddx'ing?!

house:

like a boss

house:

park come with me

park:

fuq u

*cut to chase waking up after surgery*

chase:

can't feel my legs

taub:

park:

house:

chase:

GIVE ME SOME FUCKING REASSURANCE HERE

*patient moved to different hospital*

house:

*looks on* I WANT YOU BACK, I WANT YOU BACK, I WANT YOU BACK FOR GO-- oh hey patient's wife ~medical stuff~

patient's wife:

you've been wrong every time

house:

this time i'm right

patient's wife:

*enters elevator* nice try goodbye

house:

*holds door open*

patient's wife:

move your cane please

house:

that's what she sai-- okay, not the time for jokes..

*decision day*

cofield:

i'm about to say house is suspended but just before i say it, let's hear from this rude woman who entered the room at such a convenient time

rude woman/patient's wife:

house was right

cofield:

so as i was saying - house you're free to go :D

house:

coward

me:

house you really don't know when to stop do you? did you like it in prison? DID YOU? where is wilson actually

*chase learning how to walk*

house:

i'm sorry

chase:

don't care

house:

k

*END CREDITS*