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20

Apr

little-song:

hullodearie:

Fake Pockets: A How To

Accurate as fuuuuuuck

10

Apr

rhubarbenamel:

me after not eating for three hours.

rhubarbenamel:

me after not eating for three hours.

09

Apr

Me during the day:
I'm so fucking tired oh my God I can't wait to go to bed tonight
Me during the night:
Let's download the top 100 songs from the 90s and listen to them all while writing a novel and watching an entire season of something and maybe rearrange my room
Fluff rice with a fork, never stir it with a spoon.
Vaseline is the best night time eye cream on the market.
You can buy alcohol and chips with your parents’ gas station credit cards.
If you force something, you’ll break it. That could be good or bad.
It’s important to read the care tags on your clothing and follow those instructions.
Related: don’t wash and dry j. crew wool sweaters.
Changing your car’s oil is not optional.
Whatever physical objects you acquire you will one day have to put into a box and move.
You’re allowed to disagree with negative feedback.
It’s always worth reading the instruction manual.
Nostalgia, like any drug, can be a poison or a remedy.
Pets are like human friends but better in every conceivable way.
Good doctors listen more than they talk.
You can’t fix a burned roux.
Floss.
Just because someone is an authority figure does not mean they are intelligent/competent/right.
Measure twice, cut once.
Get your nice jeans and dress pants tailored by a professional.
If you’re uncomfortable wearing it you will not look good.
You’re not required to drink alcohol while in a bar.
There are a few things that cure all ills: the beach, your favorite album on vinyl, and fresh garlic.
Kindness is not weakness.
Baking soda is not baking powder.
Taking Excedrin P.M. while still in public is not advisable.
Terrible people will succeed. Wonderful people will fail. The world is not fair.
Appropriate footwear is always key.
You can absolutely be too forgiving.
Real humor punches up, not down.
Reading the assigned chapters will actually help you learn the material.
There are no adults. Everyone is as clueless as you are.
Applying eyeliner well is a timeless art.
You can always leave. Awkward dates, suffocating jobs, hometowns that you outgrow, relationships that aren’t growing in the right direction.
You can always come home again.
But it won’t be the same.
Life is too short for bad books, boring movies, shitty people, and margarine.
Never underestimate the importance of eyebrows.

08

Apr

tastefullyoffensive:

Part One [doghousediaries]
thebluthcompany:

An Old Spanish Painting Perfectly Depicts What George Michael And Maeby’s Love Child Would Look Like

wasarahbi:

onlinewifey:

“I still love you” is the saddest fucking sentence in the whole world

ummmm p sure “the guac costs extra” is actually sadder

07

Apr

(Source: stardusted)

03

Apr

gattitafea:

funeralformyfat:

I think we all have these days.

Omg 😂😂😂😂😂

(Source: gatitoambulante)